Suffocating Me
by MadameDegrassi96
Summary: Clare has a drug problem and is in a rehab/crazy ayslam, where she meets Mr. Goldsworthy, Alli Bahndarri, Jenna Middleton, KC Guthrie, Declan and Fiona Coyne and Adam and Drew Torres. Clare goes down a darker road than Drugs and addiction how will she cop
1. Chapter 1

_**AUTHORS NOTEEAGE: This story I am deticating to Liv or as you know her ShootingStaronTheHorizon**_

"Clare, can you tell me why you're here?"

Gulp.

I fidgeted with my shirt, and picked my nails. They were keeping me in this place.

"Clare, can you talk to me?"

"I just, I just want to get out of here!" I begged with much desperation in my voice.

"Clare, you have a problem, and you're here to get help." I sighed, I didn't have a problem, I just liked doing drugs.

"Can I just go to sleep?" I asked, knowing I would just cry and freak out. Lately in this place the smallest sounds set my mind off.

_Click_

_Click._

_Click._

_Click._

"Stop, with the clicking of the pen, I told you it drives me crazy!" I yelled at her. I started to try to claw my face off, yet again it didn't work. I was trying so hard to break free of my skin, to let myself go!

"Mr. Goldsworthy, we need your assistance." I had no idea who that was, but some man came in the room.

"Clare, Clare honey, relax. Everything's okay, alright? Just take a deep breath." I've been through this, many times this week.

But looking into these stranger eyes, I couldn't help but feel bounded by his presence to just listen to him.

"Clare honey, are you okay? What's wrong?" I sighed, and looked away, frightened.

"The pen. She won't stop with the pen! It's driving me crazy!" I started to freak out again, and his arms immediately went to grab my wrists. As soon as I felt his touch I weakened into it. It was like another way to cope.

"Clare, I promise the pen will stop okay? It won't happen again, okay?" I nodded, still afraid. I started to relax until I heard another noise.

_Tap._

_Tap._

_Tap._

_Tap._

_Tap._

"What, what is that?" I asked her again, before the man with the magic touch left, I kept hearing it.

"What IS that noise? Stop it PLEASE! PLEASE! STOP!" I tried to beg for mercy.

"Julia! Stop! You can see its hurting her! What is your problem?" He was yelling at her,

"Please, just, just take me home. Get me out of here! I CANNOT STAND IT!" I yelled, and finally tore my skin.

"Clare you need to listen to me okay? I will take you somewhere quiet, alright? But you have to relax. Can I trust you?" He was looking deep in my eyes, which were wide with fear.

"So, if I listen, I can get out of here?"

He nodded, and smiled so beautifully.

"Come on, I promise I'll make it all better." I sighed and slowly followed him, making sure not to break our touching, because right now, he was making all the noises go away, by simply touching him.


	2. Chapter 2

I couldn't exactly describe the feeling of his hand in mine. It felt rough, but sweet and gentle all at the same time. It felt safe, and strong. It felt smooth and detailed. But then I realize it wasn't the feeling of his hand that had so much of an effect as the man who the hand belonged to. It wasn't the way he caressed it caringly, or the way he held it tight to make me feel safe, it was just the fact that he had the kindness to do these things in the first place. I was in such a deep thought I didn't realize where we were until I felt the air cool my once warm collected hand. I snapped my head up, and looked at my surroundings. I saw a bunch of people, and I saw that the man was opening the door. Now that the light was on his face, I could see how beautiful he really was. He was more of a boy then a man too. He looked maybe a year or two older than me. But what was still the same? Those eyes that heal your soul from the inside out in a second. I had a feeling it could have the just opposite effect as well though. If he had the power to do this, with a simple look of kindness, why couldn't he damage and corrupt the same exact way? With a look of pure hatred? A shudder ran down my spine at the thought of those eyes looking at with any look close to that. I went to reach for his hand out of instinct, when a girl came by calling his name.

"Goldsworthy, oh hey!" He looked annoyed, at the attention, or the girl giving it, I didn't know, but annoyed all the difference.

"Bianca, what are you doing out of the council meeting? You're supposed to be in group, now go before I have to call Julia down here." He said it sternly, warningly, and kindly all at the same time. He had just the effect on people that would make them fallow him to death if he just spoke enough. But apparently, this girl was different, not as easily persuaded as I was. Not as caring or addicted to him as I was in this instant of pure feeling on his face.

"But Elijah, we both know you'd rather, take me out of here, and tie. Me. Up. Like the naughty little crazy girl you know I am." I felt a feeling roll off of me in waves, it wasn't a feeling I enjoyed, it wasn't a feeling I wanted to harbor, and it was a feeling of dislike. It was jealousy. This girl was getting to me, and I had a feeling she knew just what she was doing.

"Bianca, it's time to go back, now. I don't think Julia would approve of your behavior. You know what happened last time." He was now speaking with a tone of warning, but not just warning, but threatening.

"Elijah, Elijah, when will you stop taking the innocent new girls out there and corrupting them senseless. I still remember our first time." She whispered loudly in his ear, her brown curls on his face at their closeness. I knew she was doing this on purpose because she was giving me a humored look and also because she was whispering it quite loudly.

"I mean, its poor innocent Clare Edwards we're talking about here. The one who probably only started doing drugs because her little church friends kicked her out of their little club? Or was it because a boy said no! Oh! Oh! Was it because you realized every boy would always say no? Was it because little Saint Clare isn't as perfect as everyone thought? Yea, that's right. I remember you. I remember you more than you think possible little miss Edwards. You think you can just call yourself bad ass because you're in here with the crazy addicts? Well think again, this isn't a place for little screw around children who hope to find a place to fit in with people lower than them."

She started off talking to the boy, but obviously her vicious attacking words were directed at me.

"Bianca, stop! Now. I do not care you need to leave. Now." But she wouldn't leave! She wouldn't leave me alone.

She picked up her hand and put it on the wall next to me, and began tapping

_Tap_

_Tap_

_Tap_

_Tap_

_Tap_

_Tap_

"What's wrong Clare? Hm? Is little saint Clare scared?" she said noticing the look of pure annoyance and pain obviously on my face.

Before I could stop myself, and before the boy with the magic touch could register what I would do in his attempts to politely stop her, I turned on her, and pushed her to the ground and started hitting her with all I had.

I was quickly pulled off of her, and the pure hatred that was rushing through my veins was automatically stopped and traveled away, and mushiness was back. Complete mush filled my brain into a haze and confusion.

Bianca got up, and glared at me. She spit her blood on the ground and turned away.

"You just watch Edwards. You'll get what you're asking for. You'll surely get it." I was so flustered that all I could do was fall. He caught me before I fell to the ground, and I had a perfect view of the eyes that cure me. Only now when I look into them I saw pain, and despair.

"What's wrong?" I asked worried immediately for this boy.

"Nothing I'm fine," he said, only it sounded as if he was trying to convince himself more than convince me.

I ignored my gut feeling and just put all of my trust into this boy. The boy with the magic touch.

The look automatically washed away, and a smirk appeared on his face.

"Are you ready?" he asked, and I knew immediately he was talking about the quiet place.

I smiled and nodded, and a thought went through my head.

_Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if he took my virtue._

And with that in mind, a blush on my face, and my hand in his we walked through the door.


End file.
